Tell me about your family.
Okay so I basically don't even bring up family in introductions or really at all. It's usually well into a new relationship or friendship before this comes up. It seems that for a lot of other people family is one of the first things that gets talked about. I'm not too keen on even introducing the basics about family like “How many siblings do you have?” or “Where do your parents live.” Family is a touchy subject for me. I've spent a lot of time dealing with my emotions when it comes to family but I still have a lot of forgiveness and healing work that I need to do.
Where are you from?
I feel like some people are really going to relate to this one and other people aren't really going to get it. This one has been life long and it's very common, very very common for mixed race people (like me!) or 2nd and 3rd generation immigrants (not like me) to have the kinds of feelings I do about this question. “Where are you from” almost always means, “Why is your skin that color?”. I have a hard time with this question every time I hear it for two reasons. 1. It's a long explanation and I don't like telling it because I can never explain it well enough in the time that an introductory meeting allows. 2. Issues related to race and race politics that I have yet to do sufficient forgiveness and healing work around.
What do you do?
The things that are most difficult for us to talk about are the things that deserve the most attention. Take note of what makes you squeamish and investigate to see if there is something deep down that needs a little healing and forgiveness work.
You can do it
I believe in you
I love you